When dating in your 20s, most of the men you will find are only in it for a night or three and then disappear into thin air. What you don’t often encounter (if ever) is the guy who wants you to meet his mother on the second date. Here’s what it’s like to date the overeager, but sweet guy who wants to put a ring on you.
How you meet
Despite dating apps being perceived as a hook-up enabler, they are also used quite seriously by guys who haven’t been able to find their one. They could be really shy or just haven’t had any opportunities to date.
His profile presents a fairly standard young guy. You know right off the bat that he’s not a player because he lacks the shirtless gym photos and there are no shots of him sporting a Bintang singlet in Bali. The best word to describe him is…decent.
You match and chat for a few days up to a week before he asks you out. He suggests lunch, which is unusual but as it’s not dinner, you deem it safe and agree to it.
The first date
You dress casual, but cute and head to the agreed café. You spot him right away. He’s the only guy on his own, wearing a nice shirt tucked into chinos. He gets up as you approach the table and quickly comes around to give you a hug and pull out your chair. You feel pleasantly surprised by his chivalry.
Lunch is nice. You also enjoy chatting with him.
When you get your wallet out to pay for your half, he shakes his head and insists on paying for the whole bill. You protest once, but let him pay. You’re curious because you haven’t been on a date with a nice guy in a long time.
When you leave the café together, he suggests going on a walk by the water and you agree. He takes your hand and leads you. You’re unsure how you feel, but you just go with it.
While he’s chatting away, you look at his face and try to imagine ordering pizza and cuddling up to watch Netflix. Honestly, that could probably be a reality. But it’s weird that your brain has jumped straight to this. You barely know this guy. Are you even attracted to him? Or are you just disillusioned from terrible date after date and feeling special because no one’s ever treated you this well?
He’s talking about going on a tandem-bike riding date, which is pretty ridiculously cute. How many guys your age would suggest dates like this? Lost in these thoughts, you say: yeah maybe. He seems unsure with your response. But quickly suggests another date going to see an outdoor film with a picnic. He’ll bring all the goods: wine, cheese, prosciutto and grapes.
Tempting, isn’t it? Especially when he says he’ll bring your favourite spanish truffle cheese. Mmm Manchego.
Where does it go from here?
This either goes three ways. (Depending on the guy, your personality and level of maturity)
- You continue to idly text him and go on a few of these cute dates, hoping things will get better and you will become super attracted to him. Spoiler alert, you won’t.
- As you spend more time with him, you realise you are actually very compatible and you’re now happily in a long-term relationship as you too could see marriage in your futures. Lucky bitch.
- You become that which you hate. Le ghoster. You stop replying to his texts and block him on all channels of communication.