The guy who won’t stop talking

It’s a fact in life that women tend to talk far more than men. On average, women will use about 20,000 words whereas men will only use about 7,000 words in a day.* Women like gossiping and chatting shit with their friends. It’s how they bond. Men prefer playing games and doing activities whilst with their mates. So what happens when you find a unicorn, a guy who talks even more than you?

How you meet

You’ve been on the dating scene for a few years now. You’re taking a break from using dating apps and nobody meets casually in coffee shops or bars. You’re chilling with a bunch of friends one fine Sunday evening over a glass of wine lamenting over your terrible dates. One of your friends suggests a colleague of hers who would be perfect for you. All of you pore over her phone to see his pictures from his Facebook profile. He seems decent. Light brown hair, brown eyes and seems tall.

He likes Japanese food and is super smart. You like those things too. You haven’t been on a date in ages, so you may as well give this guy a go. If he’s even interested in you. Your friend promises to slip it into conversation to gauge whether her colleague would be keen on a date. 

A few days later, your friend texts you saying her colleague is definitely keen on a date and has asked for your number. You feel nervous, but remind yourself that you have met literal strangers from dating apps and your friend works with this guy so he’s not a complete random.

The date

You’ve agreed to meet at a cute Japanese restaurant in the city after work one day. Is it ambitious to have dinner with someone you don’t know? Perhaps, but you keep telling yourself he’s not a complete stranger and if it doesn’t work out, at least you got to eat Japanese food.

He looks exactly like his pictures, which is a good sign. As you are walking into the restaurant, he’s chatting to you asking you how you know your friend and sharing details about how long he’s known her too. Before you’ve even sat down you already know that they have worked together for two years, he’s an accountant and he likes Japanese beer.

Hoo boy.

You settle on a Tonkotsu ramen and green tea. He orders a Teriyaki chicken bento box, an Asahi beer and Gyoza to share. You like Gyoza, right? He checks with you after he’s ordered it. I assumed since you said you like Japanese food. You smile back and tell him yes. This is confidence in a guy, right? That’s a good thing. It’s shitty when guys can’t make decisions and rely on you.

The food arrives shortly and both of you dig in. He’s asked you about funny dates that you’ve been on. You’re midway through telling him about the guy you met on a dating app who looked nothing like his pictures when he jumps in saying he’d been on a similar date too! He starts telling a story about a girl he met on a dating app who ended up looking nothing like his pictures as she’d apparently photoshopped herself heavily.

It’s like having to put a bookmark in your story and trying to remember when he interrupted you so that when you get an opportunity to, you can finish your story. But at the same time, you have to try and listen to his story. He’s talking quite energetically too, which makes it all the more tiring and harder to focus on both his story and remember your story.

You smile forcedly and laugh at the appropriate moments, but you’re inwardly very much stressed. Do you pick up the story when he’s done or do you move on? It feels uncomfortable for you to not have finished that story, but it also seems like he’s moved on from it.

Once you’ve noticed this guy won’t stop talking, you can’t unsee it. Over the course of dinner, he’s even begun to interrupt his own stories. He orders Matcha green tea ice cream. You gratefully dig into the soft light green dessert whilst he animatedly talks about his new hobby, rock climbing.

He insists on paying for dinner and at first you object and try to go halves. But then you think, hmmm well maybe him paying for this dinner could be him paying for my attention. You did sit through like 2 hours of non-stop storytelling. Because let’s face it, there wasn’t much conversation if you didn’t really provide much input.

What happens next?

You leave exhausted from the mental exercise of trying to focus on what he’s saying and trying to remember what you wanted to say. You’ve made up your mind that you won’t go on another date. He sends you a sweet text thanking you for the date and saying he had a good time. You wearily text him a non-committal reply and then collapse onto the bus home. In a few days, you’ll have to text him saying thanks, but no thanks. But that’s too much mental effort for now.

*General source on the internet

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