Asian woman waiting at bar

The guy who stands you up

The guy who stands you up

Everyone is familiar with ghosting in the dating world. You text a bit, maybe you’ve been on a few dates and then out of nowhere he stops texting you. It sucks. It really does. But you’ve come to accept that this is part of dating. What you don’t expect is to be stood up by a guy. In this day and age, it’s so easy to cancel a date with a lot of notice. You could wake up on a Sunday and think I’m way too hungover to try and flirt with a random guy over coffee. What you don’t expect is douchebags who dick you around.

Prior to the date

You’ve been exchanging some quality banter with a guy over texting. He ticks quite a few boxes. Attractive. Tall. Has a decent job. Isn’t creepy. At this point of your dating life, the standards have dropped a fair bit. You haven’t been on a date in awhile. This guy suggests grabbing a quiet drink in a few days on Sunday afternoon. You decide to meet local, which works well for you. You’ve learnt from going on that date with the guy who is not like his photos that it’s best to keep things very low key for a first date. In case he turns out to be crazy, ugly or crazy ugly.

Communication is consistent between now and Sunday. You exchange silly memes and share things about your day. On the day you are geared up. You went shopping on Saturday and bought a new tan suede skirt mainly because it was super cute but also 50% off. How could you say no?

He texts you throughout the day confirming a couple hours prior that he will see you later. You go about your day doing usual Sunday shit like laundry and house cleaning, etc. About an hour beforehand you get ready. As it’s been awhile since your last date, you doll up in full make up. Even the trusty fake lashes come out.

At the bar

You arrive ten mins late. Although you’re usually a prompt person, you always know it’s better to be late because of years of dating guys like the guy who you meet in a nightclub. And it’s better if you’re late because then he can admire your outfit from afar.

You scan the bar for the guy. There are couples and groups scattered throughout the bar. No lone guy. Oh well. You’re an independent girl. You can sit in a bar by yourself and wait for someone. You choose a table tucked to one side and text the guy to let him know you’re there.

It’s not long before your phone buzzes and you see a message notification. I’m sorry I can’t come! My friends are over and I can’t get rid of them. What. The. Fuck. Seriously? You are in disbelief. You’ve been texting on and off throughout the day and he failed to mention he had friends over? You’re not really sure what to do. Okay, so shall I just go home? He seems unsure what he wants to do either. You text your friends telling them what’s happened. Most agree you need to sack him off. After five minutes, it becomes clear that he’s probably not going to come meet you so you decide to just go home. Thanks for wasting my time, prick. You block him after you send the last message.

Lessons to learn

This one’s hard. Most guys are decent enough to cancel if something comes up. It’s a bit shit if a guy does stand you up when he has had ample opportunity to cancel given that both of you live local. Even an hour’s notice would have been better than literally nothing and then rocking up to a no-show.

The only thing to learn is you should leave as soon as he indicates at all that he’s not coming or he’s late. Don’t deliberate and wait to see if the guy will ditch his friends for you. No matter how pissed off you are because you’re in full make up including the fake lashes. And the fact that your new skirt breaks as soon as you try to take it off. That’s what you get for being a sucker for a sale. Sleep in your skirt. At least your workmates will get to see it the day after.