The guy who love bombs you

We’re all a little guilty of falling for a guy faster than we mean to. It starts as a crush. You find out he’s interested in you too. You have the perfect first date exchanging flirty banter while your head is dizzy with white wine. And then you say “I love you” after three dates. He’s out the door, never to be seen again.

This is not that story. This is the polar opposite of that story. We know what you’re thinking. But in this uncertain day and age, something has shifted. A lot of guys are now clinging to the idea of a stable and long-lasting relationship. What if you have to go into lockdown again?

Three signs to look out for

How do you spot a love-bomber from a regular guy who’s keen on you? Dear friends, here are the subtle cues you can look out for while you’re sipping on your Chardonnay.

He’s overly physical with his affections

So first of all…full disclaimer, you should be minimising physical touch with strangers during a global pandemic. But for those of us fortunate to live in countries with zero – low rates of infection, you do you booboo. But be safe. And use that hand sanitiser.

During the date, he’s finding every opportunity to touch you. Whether it’s holding your hand on the table as you’re chatting or hugging you from behind when you’re waiting at a traffic light between bars. To an outsider, you may look like you’ve been together for years. But you literally just learned his last name two hours ago. Red flag.

He mentions meeting your parents

Somehow the conversation has shifted from “what do you do for a living” to “what gift do your parents prefer when they meet a boyfriend?” You don’t even remember the last time you introduced a boy to your parents. Did they even bring a present for your parents?  You panic and tell him you need to wee. Is this guy the same as the guy who wants to marry you from day one?

He asks how you like your eggs

Alright this one may not actually seem like a big deal. But hear us out. Talking about breakfast before you potentially sleep over implies commitment and care. You haven’t agreed to stay over and he’s jumped the gun. Making poached eggs for someone is an act of care. That shit is hard. You could just as easily pick up a croissant at the café around the corner. Spend time evaluating whether you actually like the guy or whether you like the idea of a guy that can cook for you. As tempting as that is because we all know how expensive poached eggs on avo toast is at a cafe. 

What happens next?

You have to nip this one in the bud early. There are two ways you can go about it. The first is the mature option. You have an honest conversation with him over a coffee and tell him how his actions are making you feel. Let him know that it can be off putting to a date. And then gently tell him you are not interested in taking things further and leave. The other option of course is to ghost him. Look, it might make you a cold bitch. But your time is valuable and you do not owe or need to meet up with him.

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